blog entries
Monday, May 22, 2006
hmm dun know wat to say ... after chi extra lesson... went out to eat my dinner.... with shawn, cerlyn, arif, jia ling(sec 1) and natalie.... the after tat go home lor... nth must really... today very sian la... chi chi all the way lor... haiz tat all la... nth to say liao bye bye
blogged @8:44 PM
Saturday, May 20, 2006
eeyore eeyore
the first one is i wan but i dun have ... no money to buy.. the second one is i have liao.... both cute rite hehe.... i have more photo to put.... but i need to arrange it first so have to wait... ok hehe.....
blogged @11:54 PM
today early morning go dance .... then i went home to sleep... sleep untill jia ning called and i woke up... today she came to singapore for the sarawah thingy.... then i went out with her... quite boring as we dun know wat to do.... we walk the whole of cwp like dun know how many time.... when going to meet jia ning i saw ms chitra.... my poa teacher... she was buying some thing for her nephew..... so nice of her...
the both of us saw jia ling... she was meeting natalie and her mother... to watch movie.... natalie's mother paying so nice rite.... i wish i could watch also......we had nth to do so we end up going to the area where shawn n hazel stay... we go there walk walk lor.... nth much really... then i got shawn's msg... he had a quarrel with his mother.... dun know y the mother always scold him.... he already very stress in school... and here the mother always scold him... give him a break...
after which i went to rui ling house for a puppet show practise.... very fun.... and cool..... but i was tired very sleepy nw ok la dun tok liao..... bye bye
blogged @11:33 PM
Friday, May 19, 2006
a lot of things happen this few days.... people tell me is not my fault...but i dun feel tat way... i have been moody for the pass few days.... dun know y.... and coz of tat i bought everyone's mood down.... nw i dun dare to online.... coz is either no one wan to tok to me... or i scare people tok to me... either way i also scare.... i dun wan to be alone but the same time i also dun wan to cause people trouble.......
cerlyn had her problem too... dun think i have the rite to say wat it is.... for i dun have her permission to say..... but i dun know how to help her.... i really scare i make things worse..... as for shawn..... think i'm being to hard on him liao.... somemore i jus get to know him this year onli... hey shawn sorry.... wouldn't be hitting you liao..... you can relax ....haiz think i jus dun know how to control myself towards things..... i really hope i can share my thoughs and my frenz's thoughs together... but seem like tat wouldn't work.....
today went out with all of them after sch..... cerlyn and shawn look unhappy... but i dun know how to make them happy..... i scare i say wrong thing or do wrong thing..... i almost killed shawn again.... haiz c i dun know how to control myself..... is like i wan to know everything.... but i cannot help or do anything..... even if i know..... i always say i wan to die... which make people angry with me... hmm i wouldn't say it again..... i have to hide my true feeling.... i dun wan to bring anymore unhappiness to anyone else..... i have to stay cheerful and happy... the least i can do so people around wouldn't worry for me....
jia ning rite nw help me a lot.... and so is everyone else.....and i thank you all for tat.... i will try to bring myself together..... and change myself for the better... like no more killing people.... pulling of cerlyn..... and staffs....
think my main problem start from my family...... and i bring it to my school life.... i have to stop doing tat.... if i were to suffer this kind of faith.... then i shall suffer by myself... and not drag everyone in......jia ning, cerlyn, hui yi, shawn, renfred, glendon, joanne and everyone else sry for all the problem i have caused......forgive me....i really wan to change and help everyone... i wan to c everyone happy again... tat my onli wish.... also for everyone to get good grades for their exam.... shawn must jia you......o level coming liao.... think i cannot make it for this year o level liao... you must jia you ok.....
i this lao ge this frenz can say to be the worse in the world... but i will try to change myself.... ofcoz i need all of your help.... pls help me.....ok think i dun know how to say liao.......bye bye
blogged @6:39 AM
Thursday, May 18, 2006
this few days so many things happen..... partly or mostly my fault... i cause everyone to be unhappy..... coz of my leg , my attitude and everything..... haiz.... i think instead of helpping i had make things worse for everyone.... this is bad.... shawn had been unhappy for the pass few days... and i'm not able to help him.... cerlyn also..... i feel like i have been i bad frenz bad brother.... i dun really know to make people laugh liao..... i have lose tat kind of ability.....
but i cannot give up on them... coz they r my frenz my family..... other then tat i still have jia ning.... still love her.... i may have alot problem.... but there is always room for others.... so don't keep it to yourself ok.....
next week i going to have the whole week studying onli chinese till 5.... school set one.... haiz.... o level coming... wat to do study lor.... gd luck to everyone....
i will try not to sad looking all the time but on the same i will not be the funny me anymore i seem to have lose it.... i cannot make anyone laugh nw.... haiz look like i have to restart all over again....ok lor everyone stay happy ok bye bye
blogged @6:14 AM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
today is the most painful day of my life..... i had gastric... my leg hurt like hell.... and jia ning's blog make me feel i don't know how to say the feeling....
early morning had gastric then go hospital...... haiz then cos my leg hurt go hospital again... after tat go c my uncle.... then go eat dinner with my other uncle, then went home saw jia ning's blog which i cried after reading .... i really dun know wat to say.... think today i will say untill here onli...
blogged @6:57 AM
Saturday, May 13, 2006
ytd i went out with jia ning, shawn, cerlyn and hui yi. i wanted to bring them to raffles place and listen to a pianist play piano... the song played by the pianist is so nice that you will think it was the cd playing instead. however when we reach there.. it was over. haiz. so we went off to eat . coz hui yi have not been eating since sport carnival. worry tat she might be ok we brought her to funan the IT mall to eat at the food count. i did all the paying for the food and drinks :-)... i'm not rich but i jus feel tat i should pay for them.... jia ning didn't wan to eat. she wan to eat something tat the food count cannot find one...so i guess and guess and finally i got it, she wan to eat pastsmina's spaghetti.. i was so slow abt that. lol.. cerlyn came shortly after tat... she was not very happy also...cannot tell y sry. everyone was tired coz the day before we had sport carnvial if you remember. hiaz
after which we went to orchard... dun no wat to do there... we walked to heeren(sry dunno how to spell) inside heeren we saw pastamina, yeah finally jia ning get to eat haha... she very cute lor onli wan to eat the food there hehe... the place was packed with people.. so i told cerlyn hui yi shawn to go the arcade first while i accompany jia ning to eat... they took quite a while to find the arcade.. they even call me and ask where was it... lol..they suddenly called and ask whether we finish already, they say the place nth to play very sian... so i told them to come down coz jia ning jus bought her food onli... me and jia ning was having a good time toking to each when they came down... they look so bored and tired while me and jia ning was having a great time toking to each other.. hehe
guess wat..... i saw jun yang, his sister and dunsu... the world is so small hehe(singapore is so small).... after jia ning finish eating we went up to the arcade and c lor... nth much really esp one very old looking guy wear untill very weird was dancing DDR.... he's good at it but look weird as he is old... we went back to take the train cerlyn have to reach home by 5... poor her... when we reach the station... we miss the first train as it was very packed.... i suggested to take the train down to marina bay then come back... but end up onli me and jia ning manage to get in, the rest took to other train down to woodlands... at least tat was wat they say untill they change their destination to cerlyn's house kahtib... shawn wan to c his old house and primary... so they went there without telling jia ning n me.... end up the both of us went all the way to woodlands.... and they all at kahtib.. i was very angry coz i hate people changing the place without telling other people... i was already not very happy coz of other staffs and there they go.. going other places without telling us.... AHHHHHHHH......so nvm jia ning calm me down and we both went to pasah malum walk walk... we were toking, laughing then shawn called say hui yi have to go coz her father wan her to home rite nw..... we go meet them... then i went to angry mode again not becoz i wan to show them but i was really angry..... they both said sorry.. but i was still very angry untill jia ning told me tat shawn had longest chat with her... that he was very happy... then i ok liao lor.... jia ning say one yao zhou mei ren ju yao zhou tao di..... think onli jia ning can really calm me down at times like tat..
after which we walk around cwp... play arcade...go counts...then i treat them ice cream... hehe so happy to c the both of them happy.... espcially her.... jia ning after have to go home coz the father called... so we accompany her to take the bus... i asked shawn to accompany me to go c shirts after tat... if it not for me he would have reach home and not get scolded by his mother... haiz my fault again....on the way home i was smsing jia ning all the way untill she reach home....
today leh nth much lor.... i went to my dance compertition.... got 3rd place.. my leg hurts like hell nw..... haiz.... the whole day very boring la... esp the part i was smsing her... hehe.... ok la think say untill nw lor bye bye
blogged @6:25 PM
Thursday, May 11, 2006
today sports carnival very tired you know...... althought i onli join one event but cause i become mr kok right hand man... i have to do the calculation of the score then do alot other staffs... is was fun but tiring. nvm know doing this can be so tiring. the event i join is the running thingy(don't know how to spell the word sorry) i lost lor sixth place.... what i cannot believe is ******(dun wan to spell his name not don't know how to spell) win me lor wao lao.... so angry he 5th leh.. then i sixth you know so close... haiz
early this morning i wake up 5 jus to go over to shawn's house to help him do his hair you know.... so sleepy lor... not use to it... SHAWN YOU OWE THREE THINGS LIAO........then took hazel's father car to school.. think the father not very happy with me... dun know y? never mind when we reach school nth to do lor.. so sleepy. have to watch the parade thingy coz during OC they dun the chance to perform.... then have to wait for the stupid GUEST OF HOUNER to came she very slow lor... got 2 UG member faint coz waiting for her under the sun... HOT SUN.
after the parade we started our sport carnival meaning starting of my job. my job not onli sit down and type things onli you know... i also have to run around to look for the teacher-in-charge if there is any mistake in the scoring... wat worse is... THEY VERY HARD TO FIND OMG... make me run around the school jus to look for them... so the whole day like jus running around...
after that i have to do the prize giving thingy... meaning i have to call their name and class... OMG.. this is my first time doing this.. and i suck in it... really i was like dead people toking like tat... lol.. for one of the score i did it wrongly so bu hao yi shi you know.... omg. after the whole thing finish thought can happly go eat our food at SG(guess if you don't know) but cerlyn and li ting not enough money, so i ask go other place to eat can coz i dun wan like come together then eat seprately... and you know wat nat say... eat seprately better.. i was so pissed off you know... how can she say that. say wan to come eat together then suddenly say eat seprately better... so angry with her.... nvm i walk off telling cerlyn, shawn, arif and li ting to go other place and eat, at that time i oready no mood to eat liao lor.
so i onli eat hon dou ping..... shawn also nv eat dun know y think he also dun feel like eating bah he ate the same thing as me..... he look so tired... and he got sun burn lor...i also out there leh but i nv sun burn y huh?hmmm nvm....from there we went home lor nw at home doing nth very sian.... planing to go out with jia ning, cerlyn and shawn.... but dun know go where also. haix ok la say untill here bye bye
blogged @6:13 AM
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
today really not my day.... i cry cause of wat happen yesterday... i still cannot take it tat i break up with her just like tat... hiaz.. everyone was like so concern when i cry cause of what happen... and i really thank you all for it ... sry for all the trouble... the most stupid thing i did was i cut myself again. six time in a row... nw red red one.... but when i cut... like no feeling one. hiaz.... then just now went home and went back to school again to look for them.... still not very happy about it. the uncle in blue at our school gate was like chasing me out of my school you know... but cannot blame him he just doing his job cause i never wear school uniform lol...
now i'm ok already.. feeling much better... don't know how is she now... izzit still sad or have she get over it already.... i have not i can tell you... but who can i blame but me... i was the one who ask for it .... once again sorry guys for all the trouble.... and most importantly a never ending sry to her for wat i have cause her for the pass 2 plus 3 years. if it not for me she would not have suffer this much. i was not me the whole day .... is tat good or bad... ??? maybe gd for other people cause i nv disturb them. may be this should be the way ... i don't i know.... should i still be myself or change so everyone will not be disturb by me anymore...
recently i have this person coming to my blog scolding me add me in msn with the nick "COLIN CHIAM YOU SUCK"some thing like tat i don't know who is tat.. and wat have i done to tat person to be so angry with me.... don't know wat with tat person. i'm so pissed with tat person... if he or she wan can jus come rite up to me and tell me in my face and not hide like tat and scold me like tat... this show how much he or she onli have the guts to say it on net and not face to face... he or she don't even dare to tell me his or her name. omg haiz don't know and don't care but if this contiune i may just call up the police and report it .
well enough already... tml poa still have not study for it die... so gonna fail it haiz... bye bye
blogged @5:36 AM
Monday, May 08, 2006
after all the unhappiness i have bring her.... i finally end our relationship..... we lasted for 2 years plus..... through out this 2 years i have bring her only unhappiness and suffers... i cannot stand myself anymore.... wat am i to do .... i still love her but i don't know how to be a good bf to her ... i fail in being one.... i really wan her to be happy and not sad.... but i don't know wat to do... few days ago she gave a present to me.. inside was a cd and a letter....... in the letter she wrote all her feeling and ask my opinion should we continue our relationship..... i don't know.. coz i don't dare to promise anything coz i know i cannot keep it a promise.... i wrote on my other entry i promise something i nv keep .... till nw i still nv keep it...
i don't know wat to nw... she was crying jus nw when i ended our long relationship... and so did i.... i don't wan lose her nither do i wan her to be sad n unhappy....... no more suffer from me to her.... enough is enough.... no more if i really love her.. i should let her go.... to other people who is reading this entry may think i'm an ass hole for saying such thing... yes you r rite ... i am one... but if i don't let her go... she will onli suffer more.... i rather be an ass hole then make her suffer....no more from me... i wan her happy... not sad ..... i'm sorry ...
after today things may change.... i may not be the same old me anymore...... maybe this would be better... so lesser poeple will know me and hate me... i shall stay in my own world forever.... like tat it would be better for everyone else..... since i'm such an ass hole... and jerk... study is wat i will do nw... guys goodbye... no more rubbish from me anymore.... not anymore
blogged @9:41 PM
Time
aboutme
19 years old
12 march 1989
LIKES
My friendsMy mother, sisters and brothers
reading books(horror stories)
ice skating
swimming
bowling
eating
sleeping
making friends. etc
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Things that normal people hates小强
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